Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 33407 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 167(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33407 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 167(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
We hold book club here most nights because everyone loves her donuts, and she doesn’t mind letting us sample her new flavors.
I’m the last one to arrive at book club today. The other three girls are already gathered around the table. There’s Evie, Lizzy, and Sadie.
The three of them already have the books in front of them, and they’re talking animatedly about the well-hung hero. See, the four of us love to read alien smut together. Then we spend our book clubs cackling about the unusual anatomy of the heroes.
“All I’m saying is I wouldn’t kick a man with a tail out of my bed, not if he could do that with it,” Lizzy says.
I can’t help laughing as I slide into my chair. “It’s the ridges that get me.”
Sadie nods, and I know she understands exactly what I’m talking about.
“And the ending,” Ivy says, putting a hand to her chest like she’s about to start swooning right there.
Evie bites into her donut with the pink frosting and says, “I loved all of it. I can’t wait for the sequel.”
“Didn’t you feel kind of weird about the ending?” I ask the group. “She gave up her whole life for him. She left Earth forever. She’ll never get to come back.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of the point,” Sadie says.
“I don’t think I could do that,” I tell them. “I couldn’t imagine leaving my home planet for a guy. It’s too risky. What if it doesn’t work out between us?”
The girls exchange a look, like maybe I’m talking about more than I am, but I’m not. My question is purely about the fictional world. I am not thinking about a certain hot cowboy at all.
“Well, I mean, it’s never easy,” Sadie starts.
“It’s definitely not easy,” Evie confirms. “Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is being willing to let someone else become your world.”
“That moment when you feel so vulnerable and exposed is really hard,” I answer, surprised that there are tears gathering in my eyes.
I didn’t come here tonight to cry to my friends, but none of them are upset by my emotions. That’s the beauty of having a girl squad who has seen you through everything. They can handle your big emotions.
“Love requires vulnerability, sometimes,” Sadie says in that knowing big sister voice she has. She always perfectly understands what I’m struggling with.
“I’m not sure I’m that brave,” I whisper.
Lizzy says, “Love makes us brave. People think that to be vulnerable means to be weak, but it actually takes a special kind of strength, because when you’re vulnerable with someone, you’re willing to be broken.”
Evie nods. “It’s easier to hide out and keep people at a distance. It’s easier to deal with your fear of rejection than to risk everything and be accepted.”
I think about how after leaving that voicemail for my parents, the only thing I wanted to do was call Zac. I wanted to hear his voice reassuring me that everything was fine. But what if one day he looks at me the same way they do? What if one day he won’t take my calls and I’m just leaving sad voicemails?
Lizzy reaches for me, squeezing my hand, “Sometimes, being our true selves means removing our armor a little bit at a time. It doesn’t have to be all at once.”
I nod, understanding what she said. Maybe being brave doesn’t have to happen all at once. Maybe I can be a little bit brave tonight and then show up tomorrow and be a little bit brave again.
Chapter 12
Zac
There are two certainties in a cowboy’s life. One is that wearing camo to a wedding is always a good idea. The second is that no matter how hard he works around the farm, there will always be something in need of fixing.
After all the radio interviews, I drive home and start my round of chores with my brothers. Today, we’re on another fence repair. Out of all the farm chores, this is the one I hate the most, usually because my brothers take great delight in teasing me as we work.
“Oh, look,” Greer, my older brother drawls, “our favorite celebrity has deigned to join us.”
I nod to Noah, who tosses me a pair of gloves. I pull out the blade and take the wire cutters to cut the wire that my other brother, Barrett, is working with.
“Hey, go easy on him,” Noah says. “You know he has a face for radio. That’s why he was out there doing all those interviews.”
I flip him the bird and cut the wires.
There are still a couple of hours of work left. There’s no way we’ll finish it before my date tonight. The usual wave of guilt hits me because I’m not around to help my brothers carry the farm load anymore.
For all the money I’ve poured back into keeping this place afloat from my earnings, I still feel guilty for not being here to help them with the manual labor most days.