Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 130255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
I…
Yeah.
He had a point.
“All right, I’ll bite. How does this work?” I asked as we walked over to a long table with a myriad of raffle prizes on. “We buy raffle tickets?”
“If you want to, it’s not required. It’s also nothing to do with the fashion show, it’s just another way to raise money.”
There was everything from soap sets to booze to a freshly baked cake on the table, and I happened to like all those things.
“Good evening, Max.” A man with a bright disposition who looked to be in his sixties approached the table. “This must be Ellie.”
Why did everyone know who I was around here?
Oh. Right.
They all read my books, apparently.
“Ah, Ed. Yes, this is Ellie. Ellie, this is Edward. He and his wife Samantha help keep the estate running,” Max explained.
“Oh! Hello. It’s nice to meet you.” I shook his head.
He chuckled. “Be thankful you found me first. My wife is a big fan.”
I blushed.
I hoped that would never get old. That I’d never stop feeling like this whenever I heard that.
“I’m sure I’ll run into her at some point this evening.” I smiled, and his eyes twinkled. “Max was just explaining everything to me.”
“Ooh.” He frowned. “Even the farmyard fashion show?”
“No. I’m not sure anyone could, to be honest. Why is it held in a beer garden?”
Edward shrugged. “Why wouldn’t you hold it in a beer garden?”
I looked at Max and nodded. “That’s a fair point.”
“Can I interest either of you in some raffle tickets?” he asked, picking up his little book. “Two pounds for a strip.”
“I’ll take two strips, please.” I opened my bag and unzipped the inner pocket, pulling out a small money bag with pound coins in.
“Why do you have so many pound coins?” Max frowned at me.
I grimaced. “I’m a woman.”
“That doesn’t explain it at all.”
“Explains it perfectly well,” Edward responded.
I handed him the coins with a smile. “Um… Sometimes I don’t have the necessary supplies in a public toilet, and I need to use the machine in there.”
Max looked even more confused. “You need the condoms?”
“No. No, I’ve never needed to use the condom machine,” I replied. “Although we do have those in the women’s, too.”
“Female sanitary products, Max,” Edward said flatly, handing me my strips of raffle tickets.
“Oh. Right, of course.” Max blinked, handing Edward a ten-pound note. “Just give me four strips and keep the change,” he added.
Edward did just that. “You look awfully confused.”
“No, I just…” Max turned to me. “There are condom machines in women’s public toilets?”
I stepped aside so someone else could buy some tickets. “Yes, I’ve never understood that, either. They’re more common than the sanitary products. Doesn’t make much sense. Personally, women have no need to wear one, so I’ve never much understood the need for them to be in there.”
“It doesn’t make much sense, does it? Strange.”
“What other animals are going to be in this show then? Is it all done in the beer garden?”
“No. It’s somewhat of a parade down the high street.”
“How exactly does that raise money for charity? Do you just donate?”
“Mm, not exactly.” He pulled me back out of the way of a woman with a goose wearing a bonnet. “That part is not so much fundraising as it is… betting.”
My eyebrows shot up.
“There’s a book at the bar. It’s technically not legal, even though everyone knows it happens. Even the police place bets.”
“Yes, but what are you betting on?”
“Who wins.”
“That’s it?” I blinked at him. “So you come here, raise money, watch some farm animals dressed to the nines parade down the street, and then sing karaoke?”
Max put his hands in his pockets. “The parade is once a year. It was just a coincidence that you happened to be here to experience it, but karaoke really is a ride in itself.”
I was starting to doubt him. Although it wasn’t like I’d expected to have a farmyard animal fashion show, so perhaps karaoke would surprise me after all.
“Ellie, this is great.” Kev grabbed my arm. “Have you seen that pig? It’s wearing a bow tie!”
Oh, God.
“Don’t get any ideas,” I warned him.
Knowing him, he’d start dressing up all the animals at the rescue.
“No, no, hear me out.” He held up his hands. “We can dress up the rescue animals for adoption.”
Yup.
What did I just say?
Or think. Whatever.
“Think about how much attention they’d get if we had dogs in top hats and ducks in suits and bonnets and—”
“I think you need to go home,” I said, interrupting him. “Before you get anymore crazy ideas.”
“I’d adopt a dog in a top hat,” Max interjected.
I looked at him. “That’s not helping.”
“That’s very helpful.” Kev patted his arm. “I’m off to see if I can take photos of these animals before they parade. Oh, and put a tenner down for that pig to win, would you?” he asked me. “That’s one spiffy bow tie.”