Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 135958 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 680(@200wpm)___ 544(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135958 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 680(@200wpm)___ 544(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
“I”—ha!—“don’t”—hee hee—“know what’s”—snort—“gotten into”—hiccup—“me!” I gasped, sucking in air to try to drown both things at once. Once I started hiccupping, it was the same result. I was done for.
Kai stared as if my skin had turned green. Patting my back, he asked, “Am I supposed to scare you? Something with peanut butter?”
That made me laugh harder.
I shook my head, holding a hand up, which he took in his.
God. That made me swoon and laugh at the same time.
This was not something Kai had dealt with before; that was obvious. Finally, with tears streaking down my cheeks, I was able to respond. And I was officially embarrassed. I’d never laughed like this, not even with Blade or Carol.
“Sorry. So sorry. I’m under control again.”
I pulled my hand from his and rested it on his chest.
This felt good. This felt right, standing here, so close, just being normal.
I swallowed over a sudden lump.
“Sorry.” I wiped the back of my hand over my cheek.
He used his thumbs to clear the rest of my tears away. His heart picked up under my hand, and I tipped my head up, our mouths so close together, but so far apart at the same time.
He just needed to lower his an inch, or I could’ve leaned up, and our lips would’ve met.
Heat rushed through me, spiking my pulse.
He lifted his hand, touching where a lone tear lingered at the corner of my mouth. “You’re happy tonight.”
Yes. In some ways. I tilted my head back, meeting his gaze. “It was like old times with Brooke. She’s happy.”
He nodded, his eyes falling to my lips. “And that makes you happy?”
“I was hurt by her lying to me, but yeah. It does.” My throat swelled as I remembered my time with her. “She made me feel normal when I roomed with her.”
But it was more than that.
“She didn’t look at me with guilt or fear, or like she knew a secret about me that I didn’t know myself,” I continued. “That’s what all the adults did, and I wasn’t allowed friends. Not really. My mom didn’t want anyone at the house, and my dad didn’t want me at other people’s houses. He couldn’t control what I’d say.” I nodded to myself. A smile tugged at my lips. “Brooke was my first friend. She was the first to give a damn.”
“And I took her away.”
My eyes lifted to his, but I didn’t see regret or pity. Just understanding. I felt it inside of me, deep in my core.
I spread my fingers out over his chest, enjoying the feel of that thump-thump-thump. Strong and firm. Like Kai himself. Assured. Confident. He damn well knew what he wanted, and he would take it, or do it, or demand it—no matter what anyone said. He was going to do what he was going to do, and everyone else better get out of the fucking way.
I envied that about him.
If I’d been like him… Pain sliced through me.
I wasn’t in this room anymore. I was back there, back on the day they’d told me she was gone.
Now. Now was the time to tell him. There was no more hesitating or second thoughts. I couldn’t doubt myself, because it was time for him to pay.
“I want to help you hurt my father,” I told Kai. Hardening, I said again, “I want to help you kill my father.”
His eyes darkened. “I’m going to kill your father regardless.”
“You said you would help me before.”
“That was before he turned one of my guards against me, before he sent him to you. He changed the rules of the game. I’m taking him down.”
He began to move away. I grabbed his wrist and stepped in to him, bringing our bodies in contact. “But I want to help.”
He gazed at me for a long time before he gently extricated his wrist from my hand. He cupped the side of my face instead.
He said, “No.”
And he walked out of the room.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
“No?” I walked right after him.
“I said no,” he tossed over his shoulder, going down a hallway.
“I want to know why.”
He took a back hallway to the kitchen. Brooke and Jonah were still in there. They’d moved to the table, two bottles of wine and a box of pizza open between them. Their conversation paused as we came in.
“You’re not ready,” Kai said as he turned the corner.
“What do you mean I’m not ready?”
Brooke’s mouth fell open. Even Jonah seemed startled, though I wasn’t sure the reason for their reactions.
Kai picked up one of the wine bottles, along with the two glasses.
“Hey!” Brooke sputtered, but she quieted after she looked at Kai’s face. “Never mind.” She swept a hand out. “Proceed.”
He inclined his head and moved forward, back out into the hallway. I followed, and he spoke over his shoulder.
“You want to hurt your father, but that’s all right now. You’re not ready for the rest.”