Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
His exploring tongue all over my skin … dipping between my legs … In our little cocoon, I get to feel his flesh next to mine.
In our little cocoon, he moves inside of me, lacing our fingers together at my head, bringing our bodies as close as physically possible.
We fall asleep, sated and intertwined. It’s ironically symbolic of our relationship. We’ve become this knot. And I don’t know if it makes us stronger or if it simply complicates things … keeping us from being free. I know he doesn’t want to hold me back from my dreams, but I feel tethered to him, and it doesn’t feel wrong.
Hours later, he wakes me by pulling my body on top of his torso and sliding into me with nothing but a slow groaning of my name. I’m so drunk on him, I can barely open my eyes, so I don’t. I rock into him over and over, nothing but the mingling of our labored breaths and a slight rhythmic creak of the bed filling the air. His hands skate along my body, my back, my breasts, and between my spread legs where he moves inside of me until, once again, we release, collapse, and fall asleep.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Zach
I need a few minutes.
As much as I want to stay in bed with Emersyn all day, especially after going so long without seeing her, I need a few minutes to sort through my thoughts.
Easing out of bed, I snatch my clothes from the floor, grab a shower, and brew a pot of coffee. It’s been a year, and I thought the memories of Suzanne sitting at the kitchen table, gazing out at her garden with such pride, would have faded a little. They haven’t.
The memories haven’t faded. My love for her has not faded.
But I’ve miraculously managed to develop strong feelings for Emersyn. And these feelings for her don’t feel wrong, but they feel like bad timing. We are in very different places in our lives, and while it sounds like the most cliché reason for a relationship not working, it’s nonetheless a valid reason.
I’m settled into my life, into my job. Emersyn’s just started a grand exploration, a search for her dreams, a passionate journey that should absolutely be the number one priority in her life.
I don’t want to be a distraction. I don’t want to be the reason she settles for anything less than her dreams.
The door to the bathroom closes, bringing me out of my deep thoughts, and a few minutes later, Emersyn peeks her head around the corner. I inspect her robe and wonder if she’s wearing anything underneath it. Yeah, that’s where my brain goes. If I could act like an animal reacting only on instinct, I’d lay her on this kitchen table and have my way with her before so much as a good morning.
I suppress the animal inside of me and opt for control.
“Morning,” she says, giving me a shy grin that turns her cheeks pink as she pours a cup of coffee.
“Morning. How’d you sleep?” I sit up straight and nod to the chair. Suzie’s chair.
Emersyn stares at it for a few seconds. She’s thinking the same thing. It’s not just me. She has her own set of issues with Suzie’s things. Before I can say anything to ease her mind, she takes a seat, and it gives me a sense of relief that she’s okay with it. “I slept well.” She grins, digging her teeth into her lower lip. “You?”
I smirk, bringing my mug to my lips. “No complaints.” After a sip, I set the mug on the table. “We have some catching up to do.”
She nods, blowing at the steam from the coffee. “What have you been up to?”
I chuckle. “Working. You?”
She shrugs. “Same.”
“You’ll need to elaborate on that. I only get to see glimpses of you on social media, living it up. A free bird. I hope you’ve been happy.”
Lines form along Emersyn’s forehead as her lips twist. I’d give anything to know what she’s thinking because I know it’s not what she’s going to let herself say to me.
“Are you happy?” she asks.
My eyes narrow as I study the half-empty coffee mug in front of me. “I’m good. Work is good. My family is good.”
“Are you happy?” she repeats.
With a slight grunt and a smile to cover up any pain that prompted the grunt, I lift a shoulder. “Honestly?”
She nods.
“I’m hesitant to say.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt your feelings nor do I want to put pressure on you.”
Taking in a shaky breath, Emersyn puts on a brave face. “Okay … this is going to come out all jumbled, and I hope you don’t take it the wrong way, but … I don’t expect to magically make you happy like Suzie didn’t die. I think she wanted you to be you after she died. But she kind of made you who you were, her existence in your life. You were Zach: pilot, friend, brother, son … and husband. And out of all those things, husband meant the most to you. How do you redefine yourself when what felt like the most important part of you no longer exists?”