Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 71967 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71967 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
“You are,” he promises. “I didn’t believe her! I thought it was just a ploy to get me back. She said the condom must have torn, then she showed me the sonogram.”
I turn away, the tears streaming down my face.
“Yet you kept allowing this to happen, after you knew,” I snap. “And you never told me. How could you?”
“I know it was wrong, and inconsiderate, and a million other ways you can tell me how selfish I am,” he sighs, his fingers pulling at his face. “I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I just knew couldn’t refuse you. I didn’t want to. I already fell too hard and I needed you.”
“So what, you had me throughout the day and then her once you got home? That’s sick!”
“No!” He shouts. “Please don’t think that little of me. I’ve been staying at my sister’s,” he kneels in front of me. “And God, Luci, please don’t think I touched her, because I haven’t. Not once since you and I started. I can’t. She’s not you.”
“I don’t believe you,” I sniff.
“I understand why, but it’s the truth.”
There’s a deep sadness to his voice as he tells me the next bit.
“Obviously, she decided to keep the baby, and I can’t be the person who leaves now, for the sake of the kid.” He falls quiet, his lips trembling.
“Great, so let me know where I should send the baby gift,” I stand.
“You know,” he stops me. “After I came inside you,” he says with a silent laugh and the memory cuts me like a knife, causing me to grab onto my stomach, just so I don’t fall. “I almost didn’t even bring up the whole doctor thing, because I wanted to risk it with you… because, shit, what if then it could be you then and not her? Then I could choose you!” He leans forward, and I know my ugly cry face is going strong. “But I realized how self-serving that would have been, and after all that I’ve already done to you I couldn’t. You’re so young and have so much ahead of you,” he shakes his head. “A bright future full of all the best things.”
“This whole time you knew we could never be real,” I sob. “And you let me fall, harder and harder.”
“Please stop crying,” he whispers. “I know I once again have no right, but I can’t take it when you’re sad… let me at least hold you while you cry, since it’s my fault.”
“No!” I pull back, even though he’s nowhere near me. He flinches, the knife hitting him too. “Your story changes nothing.”
“I know,” his tears fall now too. “For the record I wish things were different. That somehow you were older, or I was younger, and I met you before I even got married in the first place.”
“Stop,” I plead, but he doesn’t.
“I know it’s not fair. And I know what I’m about to say is equally as selfish, but I am in love with you, Luci. So fucking in love. I always have been and always will be. I can never change that.”
I say nothing as I continue my walk to the door. His five minutes are up and his words are too late.
“I think you’re a terrible person.”
I can still hear the echo of the door slamming shut as I head to my car.
Graduation is awkward, as mom tries to get pictures of me with everyone. Little does she know, I haven’t even talked to Chloe, Ashley, or any of my other friends in months.
Just when I think the humiliation is over, and we can finally leave, I hear her yell the name that most gets my heart beating and blood boiling.
“Mr. Harrington!” She shouts. Gracie and I exchange a look.
“Mom, please stop,” I quickly glance her way, Gracie protests as well..
“I just want a picture of you with your favorite teacher, so you’ll remember him,” she says as he approaches. As if I ever could forget.
I watch Dad shake his hand, and Mom gives him a hug. He waves to Gracie before turning to me.
“Congratulations, Luci,” he hesitates.
“Luci, what’s wrong with you?” Mom yells when I don’t answer him. “Well, let me just take a picture,” she waves her hands, motioning for us to move together.
“Oh come on Mom,” I groan.
“It’s okay, if Luci doesn’t want to,” he’s embarrassed and sad.
“Absolutely, yes! Lucinda Cunningham!” Mom orders, and I brace myself for the contact as he approaches, the magnetic pull of his body forcing me closer and closer. He removes his hands from his pockets, placing them around my waist as he glides behind me. He settles to my left, dropping his left arm as his right brushes against my lower back, staying there.
“Smile,” Mom fumbles with her camera.
To my complete horror, his thumb starts to move in gentle circles, causing my shirt to lift ever so slightly. I shiver from the contact as our eyes meet, full of sorrow and heartache.