Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87766 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87766 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“You didn’t go?” I bite my lip.
“Obviously not.” He won’t look at me, which is fine, since I let out a small smile.
“You came all the way here,” I sigh.
“I don’t need your pity,” he stares over my head, and when he finally does meet my eye, his are harsh. “You know what?” He snaps. “I do regret everything that happened between us!”
His words rip into me, and I feel my hot tears building.
“If I never met you,” he continues. “If none of this ever happened… it would be so much easier.” His words slice at my insides. “I would never have known.”
I don’t stop him this time as he leaves, too frozen in place, because I know exactly what he means.
~*~*~*~*~
I walk into the bar to meet Luke, hoping it’ll take my mind off what a shit night yesterday was. All day I stayed in bed and I hate myself for it. Bars tend to have the reputation to cheer one up, and it usually works well for me, so when Luke asked me to meet him here, I was all too eager.
It always seems like everyone from campus is here, since it’s notorious for serving underage. Still, people like it so much that even after they reach drinking age they continue to return.
My shoes make noise against the sticky floors as I spot Luke at a half booth in the corner. Serves are bustling; bringing out beers and burgers to patrons as I make my way past the wooden walls that are filled with the universities sports memorabilia. I continue, past the long mahogany bar, and weave through the scattered tables before reaching him. A live band takes the small stage just as I sit, and grunge music starts to boom. We say hello, and I pick up the plastic menu that sits between an ad for this weekend’s band and the condiments.
“I already ordered,” he smiles.
“Oh,” I sit back in the uncomfortable chair as the waitress, a girl from my sophomore year lit class, brings us both beers.
Luke plays with the rim of his glass before taking a sip.
“I came back last night to your dorm,” his voice cracks. “I saw you arguing with a guy.”
“It was nothing-” I start to defend.
“No,” he laughs, realizing he’s upset me. “It’s okay. I’ve been seeing other people too.”
“You have?” The news shocks me.
“I wasn’t pressuring you for anything, but you had to realize I needed to get something,” he laughs. “You don’t let me do anything but kiss you, and maybe cop a feel if I’m lucky!”
I’m speechless.
“But that’s not what this is about,” he interjects. “I asked you here to tell you I broke it off with all my casual hookups,” he smiles, as if this is good news, and I can’t believe I actually once thought highly of him. “After seeing you with someone else,” he continues. “I realized that it’s you I want.”
“Casual hookups?” I question, feeling my anger build.
“Yeah, nothing serious, you know,” he grabs my hands over the table, and I nod feebly, definitely not knowing what he means at all.
“So now I’m asking you if you can break off whatever it is you have with that other guy. I realized that’s why you probably haven’t been sleeping with me!”
I abruptly pull away. “I haven’t been sleeping with you because I don’t want to!” I shout as I stand.
“Luci!” he stands as well. “You’re not seriously mad are you?”
“You’re not seriously asking me that, are you?” I reply, before storming off.
The suite is dark when I enter, and I throw my purse down, trying to make sense of the last half hour of my life. I want to tell Ren what happened, but her light is off, so she’s either sleeping or not here.
My phone buzzes just as I walk into my room, and I throw it angrily. It lands in the corner, and part of me hopes that it broke.
I just can’t believe him! Why are guys so awful?!
There’s pounding on the front door, followed by Luke begging me to open it. I ignore it, grabbing my pajamas and heading for the shower instead.
Once I’m out, I plop my head violently against the pillow, and when I can’t sleep, I get back up and grab my old statistic notes, wondering how I’m going to break the news to Ren that I’m taking the student teaching job at my old school.
I let my mind wander back to yesterday, and I can’t believe Josh came all the way here. I used to dream up scenarios like that in my head all the time, back when I wished for impossible things.
During my first month in Italy, I swear I saw him everywhere. My heart would skip a beat, full of hope, only to be crushed when the dark haired man was someone else. But for a second, I imagined it was him.