Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 68599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
“You’re like a superhero,” Sawyer murmured from the bed, looking at Dr. Sandoval. His eyes trailed over toward me and he licked his lips. “And you’re an angel, Moose. Hah. Angel Moose. Sounds like some kind of kids cartoon character.”
The doctor gave me a polite smile and tapped on the end of Sawyer’s bed. “I’m going to let the nurse know our plan. She should be back in just a little while. Nice to meet you, Harlan.”
She headed out, and Sawyer was already reaching for me with his non-injured arm, practically pawing at my hand.
“Come here. No one said we can’t have hospital sex—”
“These painkillers are making you insane,” I said. I leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, noticing the slight swelling on the bottom left of his mouth. “Jesus Christ.”
“God, I fucking missed you,” he was saying now. “Red Pinecone looked so pretty, and the afternoon light was hitting it in that way you always used to like.”
“Red Pinecone?” I asked, pulling up a little. I sat down on the edge of the bed by his side. “Are you dreaming, or something?”
“No, no,” he said. “I was there. It’s where I crashed the truck. I was all sad, and you had that guy in the pride T-shirt who looked like he wanted to lick you, and I left, and I ended up at the farm.”
He wasn’t making much sense, but suddenly so many puzzle pieces fell into place.
Holy shit. I barely remembered the guy Sawyer was talking about, because we’d been so busy at the bar all day that every customer had started to blur together. But I remembered a guy who had a rainbow flag, leaning over the bar and getting way too close for my comfort.
“That guy in the pride T-shirt was pretty nice, but he wouldn’t stop telling me stories about meeting Meryl Streep in person,” I said. “I like Meryl Streep as much as the next guy, but he would not shut up about how nice she was.”
Sawyer looked at me, his eyes half-lidded. “He was… talking about Meryl Streep?”
“Goose, that was all he talked about.”
He paused for a moment, and I couldn’t tell if he was spacing out entirely or if he was deep in thought. His eyes were still radiant and gorgeous, even if he looked more tired than I’d ever seen him.
“I think I might be stupid,” Sawyer said. “I think I’m just a stupid person.”
“Hey,” I said firmly. “You are not allowed to have impostor syndrome while you’re lying in a hospital bed. That’s a rule.”
“That’s not a rule.”
“I just made it up, and now it is,” I said.
“I’m not having impostor syndrome,” he said. “I just was so jealous of that pride flag guy that I never stopped to think that I was probably worried about nothing.”
“Why would you be worried?”
I knew I was usually a bit clueless when it came to emotions, but right now, I felt like I was even more topsy-turvy than usual.
“Because I want you for myself,” he said, his eyes gently closing. “Not in, like, some creepy way, just in the way where I want to be in your bed again every night. That kind of way.”
“Sawyer, when I got your text, it was one of the scariest moments I’ve had in years,” I told him. “I needed you to be okay. I can’t imagine a life without you.”
“Of course not,” he said. “Who else would call you on your bullshit like I do?”
“Fuck,” I said, my voice wavering. “I’m sitting here holding back tears and you’re still trying to roast me?”
His laugh was low and loopy. “Yeah. Can’t help it. God, I want you. So badly. Why the hell did we decide to be casual? Who wants casual?”
I looked down at my jeans, almost as if I would have melted right into the ground if I looked into his eyes for another moment.
Holy fuck.
He isn’t in his right mind, I told myself immediately, as if my mind was instantly trying to snuff out the candle of hope his words had lit inside me.
If I believed him in this moment, that small flame could threaten to become a raging inferno. I’d thought he was the one who wanted things to be more casual. He really didn’t even realize that I would do anything for him. If he actually meant it when he said he might want to be more than casual…
No.
There was no reason to consider that when Sawyer was in this state of mind.
And if I’d spent years and years controlling myself around him, I could do it for one more night.
“Can’t believe you went back to the farm without me, punk,” I told him, looking him in the eye again.
I was surprised to see he’d actually briefly nodded off to sleep. He blinked up at me, a smile coming over his face again.