Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 94630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
She stepped into the space beside him, turning her head to study his rugged profile.
“You doing okay?” Jo pressed the tips of her fingers to the glass separating them from the infants.
“You mean since we last talked or since I had to help Kerris and Walsh start their little family in the delivery room?”
Jo caught the wince before it made it to her face, but inside she ached for Cam. He’d fled to Paris after Amalie’s death. Stayed there while Walsh wooed Kerris. He had done so well for himself away from them, but she’d always known he’d be back. The thing Cam had wanted more than anything in the world was a family. Walsh’s mother, Kristeene Bennett, had treated Cam as a second son, and he’d loved her more than anyone on earth. With Aunt Kris gone, Jo, Walsh, even Kerris might be the closest he’d ever come to family. But to be drawn into the pulsing center of Kerris and Walsh’s new life together had to be hard. Had to resurrect feelings he might have thought settled.
“I’m sorry it happened like that, Cam.”
He finally looked away from the babies long enough to offer her one of those smiles that, without any real effort, punched a hole in her chest where her heart used to be before Cam stole it over fifteen years ago. Some days, she didn’t think she’d ever get it back. She didn’t really have much use for it anyway.
“It’s fine.” Cam drew his dark brows into a quick frown. “I mean, it’s shit, but it’s fine. I’m fine. How are Kerris and the girls?”
Even Jo couldn’t govern the joy that pressed its way past her impassive expression.
“Kerris is fine. The girls are gorgeous. In ICU, of course, but that’s pretty standard for preemies.”
“Names?”
“Brooklin and Harlim.” Jo snorted. “We’re lucky it’s not Apple and Orange, I guess.”
Cam added a grin to the knowing look he slid over to her. They had always loved teasing Walsh about his “high life” in the city. Jo might never miss Fashion Week in New York, and she might make regular shopping pilgrimages to Paris, but Rivermont was home. Always had been. Always would be.
“How is Walsh?” Cam’s mouth dropped the smile it had managed to hold on to for a few seconds.
“As you would expect, going crazy because he can’t get here at the speed of light. Probably making everyone in a twenty-mile radius miserable.”
“That sounds right.” Cam turned to face her, shoulder to the glass. “I didn’t want to see them. The twins, I mean. Even now, I can’t see them. I don’t know when I’ll be able to.”
Jo ran a steady hand through the hair hanging around her shoulders so she wouldn’t reach for him.
“I know seeing Walsh and Kerris—”
“It’s not Walsh and Kerris.” Cam raised a thick fan of lashes to look at her, his eyes unshielded. “What if the twins look like Amalie?”
The thought hadn’t even occurred to Jo. Of course they could look like Amalie, the daughter Kerris and Cam had lost. Brooklin and Harlim shared half the DNA Amalie had died with.
“I’m so sorry, Cam.” What else was there to say?
“It’s like every time I think I can get past this…debacle…between the three of us, and I can maybe be in their lives on some terms, something pushes me back out. Maybe I’m just meant to be…”
Alone.
He didn’t say it, but Jo had always known, even when Cam would vacation with them, sleep over at the house, laugh and even cry with them, that some part of him was always alone. Even she, closer to him than anyone else, knew there were places in Cam’s life and in his heart not even she could go.
“They want you in their lives,” Jo said, feeling like an idiot for saying it but knowing it was true.
“Yeah, well, we’ll see. Some things just aren’t worth the hurt.” Cam whooshed air from his chest and pulled his lips into that smile he used to change the subject. “So, you staying here or what?”
“No, Kerris is asleep, resting. The nurses are with the girls. Mama Jess and Meredith just got here, actually. They’re with Kerris.” Jo glanced at the ALOR watch circling her wrist, glad Kerris’s closest friends had arrived and she could collapse. “I’m done. Been in constant motion since four o’clock this morning. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Where you staying?”
“Walsh said I could stay at their place, of course.”
“By yourself? Or you could stay with me. We could catch up.”
Jo raised an imperious eyebrow and cocked her head.
“Oh, so now you want to catch up. Where have you been for the last six months? Why have you been ignoring me?”
“Jo, I’ve been busy.”
“Don’t do that.” Some hybrid of a sigh and a laugh slipped past her lips. “Not to me.”