Total pages in book: 26
Estimated words: 23978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 120(@200wpm)___ 96(@250wpm)___ 80(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 23978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 120(@200wpm)___ 96(@250wpm)___ 80(@300wpm)
“Oh, no, no, no!” I blurt out, reaching for my water. I guzzle a quarter of it while shaking my head. “I am so happy I chose Damien, Michelle. In fact, I feel like a whole new woman today. I feel incredible!”
Michelle looks back at me, her expression soft, but I can see she’s confused as to what I’m doing here based on what I’ve said so far. I don’t blame her. I would be too if I were her.
“Again, without being too explicit, Damien has done something incredible. He’s flipped the power dynamics in my life.” I don’t know why, but I’m so emotional. In fact, I’m fighting back tears as I speak. “He takes control of me in…so many ways…and I let him. For the first time in years, it’s like I’m no longer the one making all the decisions. I’m no longer the boss. He is.”
Michelle nods. Does she understand? How could she? “That must feel very new to you.”
“Yes, but it’s–it’s wonderful!”
“Yet there’s something worrying you?” she asks, reading me perfectly. “And that’s why you’re here?”
I sigh and bury my face in my palms. I almost wish Damien were here. He would know what to say. He would know how to fix this for me.
But this is not his problem to fix; it’s mine.
“This huge Hong Kong deal,” I say. “If it goes through–and it looks like it will–will mean I will be traveling constantly for at least a year. I may even end up living there temporarily.”
“Which would put a strain on this new relationship of yours.”
Michelle smiles kindly at me, and I feel a temporary sense of relief. She does understand.
Some of the panic begins to leave me, but it is instantly replaced by more emotion. My jaw quivers, and I feel the urge to cry swell up within me again, but I push it aside by taking another drink.
“I don’t know what’s happened to me, Michelle,” I admit. “I worked my entire life for this company. This deal could make me Forbes’ Top Businesswoman in the country, and yet all I want now is stay at home for Damien and do what he tells me to do.”
“Alice–”
“No more meetings, no more conference calls,” I say emphatically. “Just me spending my life doing everything I can to please Damien. Is there something wrong with that? Should I not feel this way? Because I don’t know what to do!”
For the first time since we met, I see Michelle take a serious pause to think. She looks up ever so slightly before she responds. “Alice, I have to admit I am a little shocked to hear this from you.”
“I don’t blame you.” I nearly laugh.
“You’ve always said how much success and your career meant to you,” she continues. “Do you really want to throw it all away now? Because as your therapist, it’s my job to remind you that when a new relationship begins, it can be overwhelming. Our primal instincts and emotions can overpower us, and we can end up making decisions that we might look back on and wonder why we made them.”
I know she’s just doing her job, but I can’t help but feel insulted.
It’s as if I’m a teenager and she’s my mother, scolding me for acting in ways she doesn’t approve of with my new boyfriend.
I’m feeling overprotective of Damien. If she could only see him. If she could experience what I have with him, then she would understand!
“I told him to get me pregnant.” The words escape my lips like a beautiful whisper that takes me back to that blissful moment Damien and I shared, me wrapped in his arms as he filled me with his seed, both of us soaring high in our climactic moments, coupling together in an experience I’d never felt before.
“Alice,” Michelle slowly replies. “I have to confess–I’m not sure I am going to be able to give you advice on what to do here, to be honest.”
“Michelle, you have to tell me something!”
Michelle leans forward and places a calming hand on my knee. “These are questions only you will be able to answer. You say this man makes you feel wonderful, and I’m so happy for you. But I can’t tell you whether you should leave the company you built to be with him, or whether you should leave him and continue to prioritize your career. This is a decision you will have to make on your own.”
I’m unable to hold out any longer. The tears spill from my eyes as I begin to sob.
“I know,” I sniffle. “You’re right. It was stupid of me to come here today.”
“It wasn’t.” Michelle smiles. “We all have to talk things out in our lives, Alice. Don’t feel stupid for needing to do that.”
“I don’t,” I reply as I get to my feet. “But I should have already known what I needed to do.”