Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
But the man staring back at me didn’t look like a man who had it all.
He looked like a man who deserved nothing.
“You left,” he growled.
A stabbing pain shot through my chest.
God…
Hearing his voice, knowing I broke my promise to Sean, and seeing what it did to him…It was crippling.
I didn’t think I had the words to explain myself, because they were locked inside my heart. I wouldn’t speak them.
What could I say?
“I-I—” My mouth snapped closed when Sean approached.
>Glaring, he got up beside Preppy while reaching for his back pocket, his other hand fishing the five dollars out of the jar. “Take a walk,” Sean ordered, pressing the bill against the guy’s chest.
The man backed up, muttering, “No problem, man. Sorry,” under his breath before he slinked away.
Sean turned back to me, then held my eyes as he dropped his wallet into the jar.
My brain short-circuited.
The crowd reacted with interest and went quiet.
I quickly glanced around.
Everyone was staring at us, looking curious. Tori and Syd were grinning, most likely because it appeared Sean was purchasing the kissing booth and declaring my mouth his, which I wanted to grin about myself, but I couldn’t because he shouldn’t be declaring something like that anymore.
What the fuck was happening? Why was he even here?
Wide-eyed and heart racing, I watched Sean flatten his hands on the ledge and lean forward.
“I fucked up,” he said.
“What?” I whispered.
Oh, God, his girls…
“What happened? Is everything okay?” I asked.
“You got my back, I should’ve had yours,” Sean replied, ignoring my questions. “I should’ve protected us and I didn’t. I let you walk. All your hurt, it’s on me, Shayla. I should’ve known what you were doin’. I was too fucked up to see it.”
Blinking, I shook my head. I was so confused right now.
So nothing had happened with his girls?
Sean read that and continued explaining himself.
“Hearin’ you tell me you were leavin’…You were puttin’ me first and thinkin’ I wanted my old life back. The life I had with Val before I fucked it all up. And it’s my fault for not informin’ you—that shit with Val? That was over before I got put away. We both know that now. Feelin’s are always gonna be there ’cause she gave me my girls, and she cares for me, knowin’ what all I’ve been through, but we’re better as friends. She agrees.”
She agrees?
“You talked to Val?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“And you didn’t get your old life back?”
Sean cocked his head. “Did you not hear me just say I don’t want it?”
“I don’t understand…Your girls. Your family. You want that. I know you do.”
That was everything he wanted.
Sean leaned closer. “I got my girls. I got Val as a friend. What I don’t got is my family, ’cause you’re here standin’ in a fuckin’ kissing booth instead of at my back where you’re supposed to be. How the fuck can I have my family when the woman I love more than my own fuckin’ life isn’t with me? You wanna explain that?”
My lips parted. I got it then. I understood why Sean was here and why he looked the way he did.
I understood everything.
Sean didn’t have it all because he didn’t have me. And he didn’t have me because I left when I said I wouldn’t. I had given him that broken, beaten down look. I took away his chance at getting all the happiness the world had to offer him, when I’d promised to make sure he got it.
I left him.
I did this.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“You’ve said that enough.”
“I haven’t,” I argued. “I promised you I wouldn’t leave, and I did. You gotta know how much that killed me, Sean.”
“I know how much, baby. I saw you.”
I pulled my lips between my teeth as my eyes stung.
God, I love him.
“You stood there wantin’ me, wantin’ us, as much as I did, and you buried that want so I could get it all.”
He knew. He knew everything.
“Yes,” I whimpered.
“But you didn’t know, I already had it,” he shared.
Oh, God.
“I should’ve told you,” he said, leaning closer. “I am so fuckin’ sorry I didn’t.”
I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “It’s okay.”
“It ain’t, but you know it now.”
“I do.”
He stared longingly into my face. “Am I yours?”
I nodded immediately.
“You love me?”
My shoulders dropped. “Oh, my God, you have no idea,” I cried, my heart splitting open and letting those words spill out. “I’ve been in love with you since last summer. Maybe even before that. I don’t know. I don’t remember the time between meeting you and loving you. I just know I love you and I can’t stop. That’s it.”
Sean’s eyes warmed to that beautiful copper shade again as his face got soft, then he glanced down between us, met my eyes again, and asked. “You gonna get the fuck outta this booth so I can get at you?”