Total pages in book: 19
Estimated words: 17792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 89(@200wpm)___ 71(@250wpm)___ 59(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 17792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 89(@200wpm)___ 71(@250wpm)___ 59(@300wpm)
Still not believing it is him, I touch his face, my vision blurry with tears of apology and thankfulness. When I convince myself I haven’t started hallucinating, everything comes to me, and all I want to do is tell him why. “Declan I…” He stops me with a finger to my lips and shakes his head.
“Not here. Not now. Just relax. I am going to sit here with you and hold your hand. Then I am going to hold you while you sleep tonight, and tomorrow, we are going to talk. Is that alright?” I nod my head because words won’t do justice to what I am really feeling because nothing has ever sounded better.
CHAPTER 10
DECLAN
I had gone home because I had enough of this shit. Sleeping in a hotel isn’t exactly ideal. I can’t believe my eyes. There she is, getting into the passenger seat of another man's car. My heart sinks as I realize that she has been seeing someone else behind my back. What the fuck is going on? Without thinking, I follow them as they drive off, my mind races with all the possibilities of what could have happened between them. Did she cheat on me? Did she fuck with this man in our bed? Fuck, this is killing me.
I can’t bear the thought of her with another man, especially after everything we have been through together. I have to know where they were going, so I keep following them until they pull into a parking lot. My heart drops when I realized where we were: the cancer treatment center. The one place I never wanted to see again.
Suddenly, it all makes sense. Her suddenly breaking up with me, her distant behavior, everything. I knew why she had kept it from me. She thought I couldn't handle it. For a split second, I am angry that she didn't trust me enough to tell me, but then I remembered how much pain and suffering this place had caused us both. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to relive it with me.
I sit in my car, watching as she gets out and walks towards the entrance. On autopilot, I get out of my car and go inside the building. As I make my way to the room, my mind is filled with a million thoughts and emotions, but my body moves mechanically, as if driven by an invisible force. I'm not sure how long I've been in this state, ever since I found out the news.
From the doorway of the room, I watch as she settles into a recliner and a nurse hooks her up to an IV. They chat for a minute while August starts up the machine. She covers herself with a hospital blanket and scrolls on her phone for a bit before falling asleep. I suck up the tears that are threatening to fall. The woman I love is battling cancer, and I have to be strong for her.
I finally make my way to her side and sit down in the companion chair. I wait, watching her sleep, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I want to cry, to scream, to break down, but I can't. Not now, not in front of her.
So I wait, holding her hand, trying to find some semblance of strength in this hopeless situation. And for a while, it's just the two of us, in this quiet room, fighting this battle together.
Then she wakes up.
“Declan?” she whispers, sleepily. She could still be sleeping, dreaming about me, but I know better. The tears I’ve been holding back fall steadily, silently. I need to know what’s going on.
CHAPTER 11
AUGUST
This is the first good night of sleep I have had in months, and I know it is because he finally knows and that lie, and the guilt is not weighing on me. The thing is I don’t know how he found out and even though I thought it was a dream, and it isn’t, I still don’t want to meet his hurt gaze.
“I know you’re awake, August.” He must be in the chair next to be. I sit up slowly, pulling the blanket up to my chin but my head is still down. “Look at me,” he commands. His voice is slightly hoarse and that is the main reason I look up. The emotion in his voice fucks with my head. When my eyes meets his, he squeezes his closed for a moment before he looks at me again. “Tell me.”
Lord help me it all spills out in a river of words, tears and sorrow. I tell when I suspected when I went for tests, when I got diagnosed and what the diagnosis is. With each word that leaves my mouth I see his face become darker and fiercer I guess but the one emotion I cannot overcome is the look of betrayal.