Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
My heart hammers in my chest. I can’t believe I’m really here. I can’t believe that my ex-wife agreed to let me see Kai and spend time with him after all these years. I can’t believe that Taylor managed to arrange all of this for me.
I grab her arm, uncertain, needing a moment to compose myself. We’ve walked so much today, and the newness of the environment has made me feel like a fish out of water.
“What if he doesn’t come?”
Taylor touches my cheek, her warm eyes seeking to give me the reassurance I need. “He’s coming,” she says. “I know this feels big. It is big. But you’re going to be fine. Take it one step at a time.”
I swipe my hand through my hair, missing my hat. Taylor forced us to leave the cowboy back home. Now, I’m just your average American visiting Spain. Yeah, right.
She slips her hand into mine and walks slightly ahead, her nose held high and eyes wide as she cranes to see if she can see my son. We spot him at the same time and squeeze hands simultaneously. I can’t believe it’s really him.
It’s like I’ve gotten in a time machine to look into a mirror. He’s a me from the past but dressed in gray, narrow-legged joggers, a fitted white t-shirt, and some crazy colorful sneakers that Europeans seem to love. Our eyes meet, and the spark of recognition that zings between us is animal. I know him. He knows me. We share blood, and it sings like a country melody I know in my core, but I’ve never heard before. I drop Taylor’s hand as he rises to his feet. He’s still a teenager, but he’s over six feet tall and broad, too. “Kai.” My voice sounds strangled. Emotion wedges in my throat like a fist.
“Dad.”
I almost drop to my knees hearing that word.
Without thinking, I pull him into a fierce embrace, finding his form unfamiliar, but how he smells like family. Jesus, he smells like my nephew underneath the expensive ocean-scented cologne he’s wearing.
We pull back, our eyes searching unfamiliar faces and finding familiarity. “It’s good to see you, son.”
He grins, and his braces make him look younger. “It’s been a long time.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d remember me,” I say.
“I remember some.”
Taylor stands to the side, watching us with a contented smile, tipping the corners of her sweet lips. If it wasn’t for her, none of this would have happened. She did the groundwork. She got us all to apply for passports and start to imagine we could make the long journey across the ocean.
“Shall we sit?” I ask my son.
He already has an iced coffee on the table, only half drunk. We sit, and I scan the menu, my leg jittering beneath the table. Maybe I should order a beer, something to take the edge off my nerves. Whiskey would be better, but it’s the afternoon, not Saturday night at the bar.
“If you want a beer, this one’s good.” He points at a line on the menu.
“What do you know about beer?” I ask.
Kai shrugs. “Alcohol isn’t a big thing in Europe like it is in the States.”
“I’ll take one of those, too,” Taylor says.
Kai waves over to the waiter and handles the order in fluent Spanish. I take it in with wide eyes. I’m so damned proud of him, but I don’t know where to start.
“So, what do you remember?” Taylor asks.
“I remember a rocking horse,” he says, looking up and to the left, searching his mind for memories buried deep. “I remember a lady with gray hair and small glasses. She had rough hands.”
“Your grandmother, Lizzy.”
“I remember you bouncing me on your knee.” He smiles when he tells us this, which is good. I don’t want my son to feel sad about the time we’ve missed together, but I can’t help the sting behind my eyes. I’ve done enough wallowing in regret and anger. This has to be a time to look forward.
We drink while he tells us about his school and his plans to become an engineer. Seville has a great university, so he won’t need to travel far, although he’s thinking about taking a gap year and backpacking around the rest of Europe. He’s mature and confident with plans that will take him into the adult world with great prospects. For the first time, I recognize that leaving the ranch behind might have been a good thing for him. How different would he be if he’d stayed with me? He’d be riding horses and herding cattle. He’d be shooting the shit with Clint and Maverick and chasing the high school girls in town. Maybe he’d have played basketball or football. He’s tall enough and has an athletic build. Maybe he’d have all the same hopes and dreams, but I doubt it.