Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 89145 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89145 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Everything in LA was real, West. I never once lied intentionally, and the only thing I genuinely didn’t think of was my history. I fell head over heels in love and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Eventually, I got to introduce you to my mom and dad, the two people who’d raised me and turned me into an okay guy.
You were my world. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I fleetingly thought, someday I’ll tell him Dad adopted me. But I swear, it was such an insignificant thing. Millions of people grow up with parents who aren’t theirs biologically. It wasn’t a big thing for me. But then we went over to your parents’ house, and I’m sure Bob can tell you the rest.
After that, I did actively hide my heritage. I promised myself to never tell you the truth, mostly because I didn’t want anything to come between us. And this was, in my head, a nonissue lie. But I understand if it’s a big deal to you. I also understand if you don’t believe me since I reconnected with Kellan when we moved. He offered me a job, and the money was good. I wanted to contribute and not be seen as some low-life loser standing next to you, which, in retrospect, didn’t work out. I couldn’t very well be honest about the money I earned, because then I’d have to tell you what I did. And I didn’t have the balls to.
Last but not least, you were right. I did change. I wanted your family to like me, so I became some fucked-up version of who I thought they would approve of. And at some point, I let that bleed into our relationship. I’m so fucking sorry about that. I’ll regret it for as long as I live.
In my defense, I did try to bring up some of these issues with you. I knew many of your mates and colleagues didn’t like me—at least on your floor. Funny how I always got along with the sound guys and crew on the show. But you dismissed that, West. Please admit that you did. Same with your family. You know deep down that I never fit in, and your family didn’t want me to. So yeah, I changed. I became defensive and on edge, and I’m sure it affected us as partners. I’m sorry about that too.
From now on, I will always be me. I’ll be honest enough to say I’m nowhere near ready to tell you I want you to be happy with someone else. But it’s what you deserve. You deserve a man who won’t drive you crazy with his split-personality problems.
Consider me cut out of your life. My only demand, and it is a demand, is that you trust me to be a good dad to our children. I’ve never once given you a reason to doubt my parenting skills, and that includes my priorities. Their well-being and safety are everything to me. Every choice I make in my personal life or at work or whatever, I do with them in mind.
I pressed send on the last message and immediately pocketed my phone. I didn’t wanna reread it or see if he’d read any of it yet. I wanted to push it all out of my head and crawl under the covers and die.
I sniffled and took a deep breath.
It was done.
That chapter was closed.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, baby?” I glanced at her in the rearview.
“Are you not happy today?”
Well, fuck.
I forced a smile on my face. “What’re you talkin’ about? I’m always happy.”
She lifted her brows at me. “Not when I don’t wanna go to bed.”
I chuckled and switched lanes. “Maybe not then. You give me a lot of grief.”
“What’s grief?”
“It’s like Daddy West’s gray hair but in your heart,” I explained smoothly. “I’m too young to have gray hairs, so you put them in my heart instead.”
She snickered. “I don’t get it.”
Eh.
“You know what,” I said. “It’s probably because I didn’t sleep well last night.” In the end, I didn’t want them to doubt their own observations. “Maybe that’s why I don’t seem happy. I just need a nap.”
“Nap time is boring!” Ellie argued. “I think you need a donut. Donuts are the best. Daddy thinks so too.”
Yeah, she and West were the donut fans. Trip and I were mildly obsessed with ice cream instead. We had a whole shelf dedicated to ice cream toppings at home, from chocolate chips and cookie crumbs to jimmies and sauces.
“Ice cream is better,” Trip said matter-of-factly.
“Preach, son.” I nodded.
“Oh! Don’t we drive here when we go to Daddy’s?” Ellie pressed her face to the window.
I chuckled. “Pretty much. We’re just going a bit farther today.” We were heading out to Villanova, which was a step up from Ardmore.