Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
“Baby,” Cael said and kissed my lips. Since the night Cael had told me about his brother, we had become even more inseparable, like that night had fused us together permanently, two halves of soulmates made whole. We carried each other through our pain. We talked about whatever was on our minds. Sometimes that was our siblings, but other times it was any number of things. He’d even spoken more about his love of hockey, which I knew was a huge step for him. It hadn’t occurred to me to share what I wanted to do at college.
“That’s such a noble way to honor Poppy, Savannah,” Mia said and I felt my cheeks blaze at her compliment.
“Cael?” Leo said. Cael’s hand went rigid in mine. He never participated in these sessions. He was doing better, spoke to Leo more in one-on-one sessions, but there was still a dark cloud that hovered over his head. I worried about him a lot. All our grief journeys were roller-coaster rides. But I felt his was more tumultuous than most.
Cael was silent as always. Leo went to move on to Dylan, when Cael said in a rasped voice, “I wanted to keep playing hockey. Like we had intended to do together. In his honor, but …” He trailed off and shook his head, a clear sign that he was done.
But he had spoken. He had contributed to the group and spoken of his brother to the others.
I was so proud of him I could burst.
“One day at a time, son,” Leo said, and I caught the emotion lacing his voice too.
I leaned in close to Cael and said, “I’m so proud of you. I love you.” Cael wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. I felt him trembling slightly, but I wouldn’t mention it. That admission had cost him dearly. But he had done it.
“Dylan?” Mia said, and there was silence from beside me. Dylan shook his head. I frowned at my friend. He was normally forthcoming about losing Jose. Though I thought back to what Cael had said about his brother. Hiding his pain with loud laughs and wide smiles. I wondered if Dylan was the same.
A flare of panic sparked in my chest for my friend. Not long afterward, the table split to head to bed. Cael was walking me to my room when I caught sight of Dylan in the courtyard of our hotel, looking at a conceptual marble statue in the center of a huge water feature. He was alone. He was curled inward. And he looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
I turned to Cael. “I’ll say goodnight here.” Cael looked over my head. He must have seen Dylan looking broken too.
“Okay,” he said and kissed me. “Night, Peaches.” He walked away and I followed the stone path to where Dylan sat. He looked up as I sat down. The sound of the water from the fountain was soothing, the night birds singing from the surrounding trees a heavenly soundtrack to the balmy breeze.
“Are you okay?” I asked and Dylan sat back against the bench. His gaze was focused on the water feature, but I could tell by the glazed look that he was lost to his thoughts. I placed my hand over his. Dylan’s head tipped down in that direction. It was a couple of minutes later when he said, “Jose wasn’t just my best friend.” His voice was barely audible. But I heard him, and I heard the pain that was etched in his every word.
I stayed silent, letting him speak uninterrupted. Dylan sighed, and his exhale was shaky. He tipped his head back, and a tear trickled from the corner of his eye. “I had to see him buried, all the people at the funeral believing he was only my best friend.” Dylan finally looked at me, his amber eyes haunted. “The truth is, Sav, that he was my everything.” Dylan’s lip trembled and I took his hand in mine, showing him without words that he could say anything to me. I would always keep his confidence.
“We met in elementary school,” he said, and the corner of his lip tugged northward in fondness. “We were instant best friends. Inseparable. We lived on the same street. Our families became close friends too. It was perfect.” He paused, and his hand tightened in mine.
“When we hit high school, I hated myself. Because somewhere along the line, or maybe from the start, I fell hopelessly in love with him.” I wanted to wrap Dylan in my arms, but I also needed to give him the time to release this secret that he had buried down deep.
“I was scared to let him see it. I checked my every move around him just in case I touched him for too long. In case he saw how beautiful I thought he was.” Dylan huffed out a laugh. “He called me on it, of course. Asked me why I was being so weird. That was Jose. Honest to the point of brutalness.” Dylan shrugged. “I tried to avoid his incessant questioning, until I couldn’t take it anymore and blurted out that I loved him.”