Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 85274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
“Okay, so instead, continue to have a strained relationship with your family.” She rolls her eyes. “But that doesn’t explain why you never hooked up with Lincoln. He’s clearly the answer to your intimacy issue.”
“He doesn’t see me like that.”
“Umm, have you seen yourself? Maybe not when you were fifteen, he didn’t. But now, you’re twenty-one and hot as fuck. Hell, I don’t swing that way, and even I’d fuck you.”
I’m laughing at her ridiculousness when my phone goes off. “I better get that.”
We get off the floor and I grab my phone to check it. It’s Sienna...
Sienna
Please tell me you’re coming home for the holidays.
I text back that I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it, hoping she’ll let it go. But of course, she doesn’t.
Sienna
Please, El. The girls made you a special present and want to give it to you in person. They’re also in the Christmas pageant at the dance studio. You have to come home and see it. Please. We miss you.
As much as I want to say no, I know if I don’t at least make some sort of appearance, she’ll never let it go. And I do miss my family.
“Maybe when you go home, you can talk to your sister,” Raelyn says, nosily glancing over my shoulder.
“And ruin Christmas? Not happening.”
“Well, I’m sure Lincoln will be there, right? You could always ring in the new year with him inside of you.” She waggles her brows and I shake my head, typing out a message to Sienna.
Ellie
I can probably come home for Christmas, but only for a few days. I’m busy since it’s my senior year and I’m graduating soon.
The truth is, I have nothing going on right now. Classes are over, and my new ones don’t start until January, but thankfully she doesn’t call me out on it, instead texting back:
Sienna
Thank you! We’ll take whatever time with you we can get. See you soon. Love you.
“You’re not broken,” Raelyn says again. “But you do need to figure your shit out. Get help, talk to someone, talk to your sister. Get laid. You’re living in denial instead of facing the reality. You and Sienna both survived, but she’s the only one truly living.” She places her hand on my shoulder. “It’s time for you to live.”
“Auntie Ellie!” my adorable five-year-old niece shouts, running toward me. “I missed you so much. Are you home forever?”
“Home forever?” Brooklyn, my other—just as adorable—three-year-old niece parrots.
“Aww, girls, I missed you.” I pull them into a hug and inhale their sweet scent. “I’m not home forever. I’m still in school. But I brought you presents,” I say, hoping it’ll distract them.
I pull the two packages I brought out and hand one to each of them, and they squeal in delight, plopping onto the ground and tearing the paper open.
“What are you going to distract me with?” Sienna asks, raising a single brow.
“How about a hug?” I offer, opening my arms. She sighs and steps into my embrace.
“I’ve missed you. Thank you for coming home.”
“Of course,” I murmur like it’s not a big deal. “It’s Christmas.”
“Look who it is,” Micah booms, walking over and pulling me into a hug. “Missed you, kiddo. How’s the West Coast?”
“Warm,” I half-joke.
“Aww, you saying you don’t miss the frigid winters here?”
“I’m saying, the second I stepped off the plane, I almost stepped back on it.”
He chuckles then sobers. “In all seriousness, thank you for coming home. Your sister was worried you wouldn’t show.”
I nod in understanding, but the lump in my throat doesn’t let me speak. Not that I’d know what to say even if I could. I had thought about using this time with Sienna to tell her everything, but now that I’m here, I realize that’s not a good idea. It’s Christmas Eve. The girls are dressed in pajamas with candy canes on them. There’s a huge tree in the living room. And the smell of ham and cookies is floating in the air.
Now is not the time.
After the girls finish opening their gifts—princess dresses, heels, and tiaras, since Sienna said they’re on a Disney kick and will be going to Disney over spring break—they take off to go change into their outfits before dinner. I head up to the guestroom that used to be my room.
When I first left for college, Sienna refused to change a single thing about it, saying it would always be my room. But when I came home to visit for the first time after being gone for almost a year, seeing my stuff everywhere brought back memories of that night and all the nightmares that followed. I packed up and threw everything away and then insisted she turn it into a guestroom. The hurt look on her face isn’t one I’ll ever forget, but it was for the best because Tesoro isn’t my home anymore—it’s more like hell.