Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 94094 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94094 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
I force my mouth to remain closed, but I’m impressed. I only mentioned that I was a fan a few days ago. He’s pulling out the big guns.
I see you, Brodi.
Yet I’m not going to give in that easily. It’s going to take more than a concert for me to forgive this man. Still, slowly I’m starting to peek through the blinds to see who he has become.
“You seem different,” I blurt out.
“I am. That’s what I want you to see. I was a boy when we were together. I may have been older, but I lacked the wisdom to control my own life. I should have done a lot differently.”
“Um,” I say as the waiter arrives. “I want to try the saffron chicken in wine sauce. That looks good.”
“I’ll have the same,” he says and closes the menu.
I’m surprised. I expected him to go with the seafood. I tilt my head and watch him closer. I guess people can change, but can they change enough to make you forget such a painful past?
He narrows his eyes at me. “I’ll tell you something I learned,” he says, breaking into my thoughts.
“What’s that?”
“To get to the things you want most in life, you have to be willing to adapt.”
“But you have to want it to be willing to adapt, don’t you think?” I counter.
He licks his lips. “Tell me you don’t remember how good we are together. Remember that one time, you couldn’t even walk from my bedroom, nonetheless my apartment?”
I remember that day very well. So well, I fist my hands in the table linen. The way he made love to me made me believe in him, in us.
He paid attention to every nuance of the vibes I gave off. My breathing, the way my skin changed under his touch or lack of. All while explaining it in detail to me and why he responded in turn to each change.
I lick my own lips. “The way you made me feel back then isn’t the issue here. The results of days and hours like that one are.”
The sexy look in his eyes fades. He looks down at the table as if searching for his next words. When he looks back up, the determination in his gaze makes me want to stand and run.
He reaches for my hand and links his fingers with mine. While staring deep into my eyes, he makes circles in my palm with his thumb.
“A part of learning to adapt is knowing when to move forward. I’m asking you to take these steps with me. I can’t mend what I’ve broken if you continue to point at the smoking gun in my hand.”
“I’m not the one who pulled the trigger. You did, you killed me and left the body.”
He swallows hard and tightens his finger against mine. “And then turned around and fell on my own sword and have been bleeding out since. Baby, I’m trying to stitch us both back together.”
I blink back the tears and drop my eyes to the table. “I know,” I say through trembling lips. “I know, but I need you to understand this will take time. And even then, I can’t promise I’ll get there.”
He closes his eyes and nods. When he opens them again, he brings our joined hands to his lips. I bite down on my lip, closing my eyes as I try to breathe.
“I love you, Chloe. I’ll walk through fire to get to you. I’m not giving up on us.”
I say nothing, because a part of me wants him to make good on that promise, while another part of me is deathly afraid he will. One of the ribbons tied around my heart loosens and floats away, taking with it my tight hold on the resentment I have.
* * *
Gregor
I stand with one leg crossed over the other as I lean in the threshold of the living area of my Dubai home. I have a glass of brandy in my hand as I watch Cee with my daughter in her lap. Her bare back is exposed in the black dress she’s wearing, I’ve admired the view all night, every chance I got, but that’s not what has me mesmerized at the moment.
What has my attention is how Cee has opened her heart to my small human, the reminder of what we’ve lost. The sight both warms my heart and fills me with so much anger and sorrow. I wish I could remember that night.
If I could remember the moment I consciously decided to betray my soul, I’d take accountability for my choice and man up to step away from Chloe once and for all. However, I don’t remember and that’s killing me as I stand here.
It’s taking everything in me not to demand Cee forgive me so we can move to the next phase of our lives. The part where I make love to her, and we create a new life to love together and cherish.