Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 47241 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47241 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
“But for me,” she deducted.
“Yes.”
“And the fact I’ve been pressuring you to save money for a trip you’re not entirely passionate about probably made you feel miserable.”
“No.” I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see me. “Okay, maybe at first. But then I started to realize you were right. I was spending money, going all out for this one party each year, when there’s more to life.” I sighed. “It was a good wake-up call.”
“Maybe so, but I’m sorry for saying you wouldn’t be my best friend if you didn’t go on that trip.”
“I forgive you.” I sniffled.
“Good. Because I think Lick wants to go. He actually brought it up on his own, so…”
“That’s great.” Lick. Lick wants to lick life in the balls.
“You’re making fun of his name in your head right now, aren’t you?” she scolded.
“Maybe.”
She chuckled. “I love you, Meri. You are so…so…”
“Fucked up?”
“Wonderfully weird. And loyal. So now you need to get your ass over here for turkey.”
“Kay, I really don’t feel like—”
“Uh, sorry,” she cut me off, “but this is not a cruise. This is a dinner that I’m cooking. All you have to do is show up, open your piehole, and shove food inside.”
“I don’t have a date.”
“No problem. I picked up a few extra strays today. We have a full house of eighteen.”
I groaned. “Fine. I’ll be there.”
“Good. Could you bring a pie? Anything, even frozen. I burned mine while we were talking.”
She hung up before I could protest. She knew I didn’t do frozen baked goods, but there wasn’t time to make anything from scratch.
Turning over new leaves left and right, Meri. It’s a new day.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
With frozen pumpkin pie in hand, I entered Kay’s place wearing green sweats and a “Gobble Gobble” turkey T-shirt. The turkey was displaying its butthole. Felt appropriate for my mood, which was also reflected in the sloppy, wild frizz ball on top of my head and zero makeup. I just didn’t have the holiday Jedi skills to battle the death star of self-ridicule spinning in my chest. But on the bright side, today I’d been reminded of why Kay had been my best friend since middle school, when I became the village ho without the ho-ing. Stupid Kevin.
“Hey all,” I said, greeting the room of happy, half-lit people. There was Kay’s coworker, Kay’s sister and brother in-law, and a friend from college and her husband. The rest were an assortment of people I didn’t know or whom we’d both met over the years. Shared friends.
The nice thing about Kay’s place was that she worked in real estate and generally scored pretty nice deals. This loft apartment had huge windows, views of the glittering skyline, and tons of room. With the modern furniture and concrete floor, it was a little sterile for my taste, but there was no beating her chef’s kitchen and twenty-person feasting table fit for any king and queen.
“Hey, is that for me? Thanks.” Kay came rushing from the kitchen, taking my pie. “There’s someone you need to meet.” I followed her to the massive kitchen, finding a tall man, with caramel skin and hazel eyes, whipping mashed potatoes. He wore a big turkey hat and an apron that read, “Man gravy is the best gravy.”
He took one look at my shirt and laughed. “Good one.”
“Back at you, gravy man.” For some reason, I’d been expecting him to be the serious type, chanting Buddhist meditations in the corner. This one had a sense of humor.
“Lick, this is Meri. Meri, Lick,” said Kay.
I cracked up. “Lick…”
“Oh, stop it,” said Kay.
“Sorry.” I made a polite wave to Lick. “So is your gravy considered vegan? Kay keeps threatening to quit meat.”
He stopped stirring and then laughed.
“See,” I said to Kay, “he gets me.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Can I help with anything?” I asked. “Or should I leave the kitchen so he can lick your pie before it goes in the oven?”
Kay slapped my arm. Lick chuckled.
“What? I heard that was your superpower,” I said to him.
Kay’s eyes went wide, but Lick kept chuckling and stirring. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Too much?” I asked Kay.
“A bit.” She squeezed her thumb and index finger together. “Oh, crap. I almost forgot to tell you. You won’t believe who I ran into…” Her voice faded as I heard the front door, followed by the group in the living room greeting someone.
“They’re here,” Kay said with a big smile.
“Who?” I asked. “Does Lick have a sister named Tequila? A salty uncle perhaps?”
“You’re so lame. I was out shopping today and bumped into Shawna.”
A lump of coal formed in my stomach. “My Shawna?”
“Yeah. And I invited her.”
They knew each other after attending my annual Christmas parties.
“Why did you invite her? She totally hates me now,” I said.
“No,” Kay hissed, “she doesn’t. You two just need to talk. That’s all.”